Why am I single? Am I doing something wrong?
Am I being too funny, or not funny enough?
Am I too nice, or not nice enough?
Am I too intelligent, or not intelligent enough?
Am I too confident, or not confident enough?
Or am I giving out some sort of ‘desperate’ vibe?
All these questions and many more come to mind when I try to work out why I’m single. Why haven’t I ever been asked out on a date?…am I rude to men? do I put up some sort of emotional wall? does anyone even find me attractive? or do I walk around with a flashing neon sign above my head that reads hurry up and date me before I get wrinkles?!!
I’ve spent the last few months really pondering this question, because I think it is important to occasionally reflect on your inner self. But in all honesty, my answer has been:
I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.
I often meet new people, I have many different friendship groups, I’ve tried online dating, I go to new places by myself, I’m friendly, I smile at people (maybe I’m smiling too much?! …)
I also asked a few of my close friends who I knew would be honest with me, if maybe they could help me work out what I was doing wrong. Now, I’m sure there are some little things that I actually am doing wrong, but the overwhelming response I received back was: you’re not doing anything wrong if you are seeking God’s will for your life. Maybe I am single because this is where I can best glorify God. Maybe I am single because God is protecting my heart for someone in the future.
I still don’t know the actual answer, but what I do know is that God loves me infinitely and loves me for exactly who I am…because that’s how he made me. Sure, there are many areas of my walk with God that I need to continually improve on, but God loves me because of what Jesus did, not because of what I do.
So I will continue to be my off beat kind of funny, my version of nice, my own level of intelligence (I’m yet to get a date from all the quiz nights I’ve been to…) and my interpretation of confident. God gave me certain skills and talents to use for His glory…so maybe one day all these things will attract someone that is suited to me, but either way, God loves me. And God chose me.
And He loves and chose you.