The other week I was a bridesmaid for one of my closest friends. I was determined to be truly happy for her and not let my jealousy surface.
It’s hard for to me to be completely honest and admit that I really struggle with jealousy…Especially when I see someone younger than myself getting married or having a baby. I instantly think ‘um… Excuse me, I’ve been waiting a lot longer than her surely it’s my turn?!’ I’m ashamed that that’s my first thought when any sort of announcement pops up on Facebook (you know the ones… Cute engagement announcement, clever baby announcement, etc…).
I find myself not wanting to publically share exciting moments from my life on Facebook, because I know what it feels like to be on the other end. That’s not saying I don’t celebrate or share good news with close friends and family… I definitely do… but I suppose I’m just cautious of not wanting to possibly have someone look at my post and feel jealous. I don’t even know if this is a good or bad approach, because people should be able to publically share whatever that want to, and I should be able to look at an engagement announcement and firstly be excited and happy for the couple, not jealous.
This is something that I am definitely working on, and some tools that I have found to help lessen the time it takes between feeling jealous and feeling happy are:
Not comparing myself to anyone but Jesus
I shouldn’t be striving to be like anyone else except Jesus, because He is the only one worthy of comparison. I will never, ever be like Him, but His worship of God and the love He shows others is what I should be aiming for, rather than earthly pleasures.
Realising that life isn’t a competiton
Life isn’t about beating others or falling behind others in various life events. God loves me the same regardless of if I’m single or married. If someone else does something before me, it doesn’t mean they are ‘better’ or ‘more worthy’ than me.
Preaching the Gospel to myself daily
When I find out that the 22 year old married woman from church has had her second baby, I remind myself that God loves me, and He loves me so much that he sent his only son to die for me. Now THAT is something to be jealous of!!!
So when I woke up the other Saturday morning to be a bridesmaid for the third time…I prayed to God that I would enjoy the day, be happy for my wonderful friend, and be reminded to focus on God and His love, rather than feeling jealous over what I think I’m missing out on.
I did have a brief moment when I was doing up the bride’s dress when I started to feel the jealousy creep in, but I said to myself ‘this might happen to me one day…it’s not a competition’. God doesn’t promise to give us what we want, or what we deeply desire, but He does promise to always listen and love.