What is it that draws us to another person? So much so that we can’t keep them out of our mind, and we wait with bated breath until we can see them again? But does this lust mean that we would be a great couple?
I’ve had this little theory going on for awhile where I think for a crush to develop into a potential relationship, both people need to be attracted physically, spiritually and emotionally to each other.
Hear me out…
The Trifecta of Attraction
Physical Attraction = I think you’re smoking hot.
Emotional Attraction = We have really good conversations, there is banter, I trust you, and I enjoy spending time with you.
Spiritual Attraction = I admire your faith in God
There have been several guys that I have been attracted to where I have thought ‘this is it…he’s the one…I’m head over heels’…but as time goes on and he picks someone else (see this post) the feelings subside and I’m left thinking…what was that?! Looking back at all my past crushes, bar one, I was only attracted to either one or two of the physical, spiritual or emotional aspects of the guy.
There was the guy that I thought was my soul mate throughout my whole childhood and into my late teens. Some of my best memories as a kid are with him, hanging out at my favourite caravan park. We just clicked like best friends do (plus flirting!) When he started dating someone else (after I said I wasn’t ready…long story…maybe another post!) and proceeded to have a child with her, I was utterly heartbroken and it took me many years to process what I thought had been a big mistake on my part to say I needed more time. We aren’t in contact today, not even on facebook, because it’s one of those all or nothing relationships. He still pops into my head from time to time as I wonder how he’s doing.
BUT, the point I want to make…looking back with the hindsight of maturity, I can see that I was only attracted to him on a physical and emotional level. The physical attraction was strong, but I wasn’t attracted to his spiritual side (he didn’t have one, which is why I’m now incredibly grateful that nothing happened between us). We could talk for hours, and the banter was on point!
There was the guy that I accidentally walked in on in the bathroom (read about this hilarious encounter and others here). I was physically and spiritually attracted to him…so when he prayed I could barely concentrate. But the conversation between us was bland.
There has also been a few guys that I guess I would say I have been emotionally and spiritually attracted to, but without some physical attraction, I haven’t wanted to see it develop further than a great friendship.
(Which brings me to the question…how important is physical attraction in a relationship? What do you think? I’m not saying that my partner has to be super good looking….but I believe I need to find him physically attractive. Thoughts?)
When I look at the relationships of people I admire, I can see that there is clearly the Trifecta of Attraction happening in their relationship. They are physically attracted to each other, they really enjoy each others company and they are a team working for God.
I mentioned above that there had been a guy whom I was physically, spiritually and emotionally attracted to, but that it didn’t work out. We were very honest with each other when deciding if we were going to enter into a relationship after hanging out for a bit…but it turned out that his emotional attraction towards me wasn’t strong enough. And looking back, I can see that there are many other reasons why it was a very good decision on both our parts to leave it at friendship. (For those of you who read my post about men getting engaged all around me…yes, he is actually engaged to someone else!)
So I’m not saying that I have the be all and end all theory to predicting the success of a relationship, but rather, a way to guide my heart when I meet a guy that I am attracted to. Identifying if I am physically, emotionally and spiritually attracted to someone is a good way to gauge if it’s something worth investigating further!