Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re too picky!!! This is one of the most common ‘solutions’ people provide for my long time singleness. Heard any of these little gems before…?
- Just give it a go, you never know
- You need to lower your standards, you’re expecting too much
- You’re just too picky
- You need to go out there to meet a higher volume of people
Now…I’d just like to pause here for a moment, and say that I don’t think what I’m looking for is crazy ‘out there’…I’d like to meet someone who is kind hearted, loves the Lord, is respectful, funny and easy on the eye! Apparently finding someone who is like that who likes me back is a pretty difficult thing.
So, without realising it, I think I started to believe that I needed to settle if I ever wanted to have a relationship. Settle for someone who was ‘mostly ok’, and was ‘some of the things’ I was attracted to… and then maybe over time I would be grateful that I was even in a relationship and forget about all the other missing bits. I mean come on, I’m getting older, so surely there isn’t anyone left who is more amazing than I could even imagine, so snap up that one who is sort of ok??!! WRONG!! WRONG!! WRONG!!!
Don’t listen to anyone who tells you that you’re too picky, and makes you think that you don’t deserve someone who you think is absolutely incredible.
I had this revelation after going on a week long Christian camp. Previous to this, for about the last year, there has been this guy in the wings, who I get along well with, he’s attractive, a nice bloke and all round good guy. BUT, here’s the clincher that I now can’t believe I was prepared to ‘settle on’…he’s not a Christian. Without really realising it, I had convinced myself to pursue this person, because I thought that being with someone who was most of the things I was looking for was as good as it was going to get. (Nothing ever happened with this guy, in fact, I don’t think he was ever very interested in me…I really believe God protected me through this).
Then…I met this amazing man, who made me realise that my version of ‘good enough’, is far far surpassed by God’s version of what is good. He is a strong spiritual and emotional leader, a prayer warrior, is humble, kind, funny…and everything else I ever thought I wanted in a partner and more than I even thought was possible. Since camp there has been a small amount of texting, but he hasn’t responded for ages, so this probably isn’t going anywhere (I really hope it does, but I also know that God is working the situation to bring Him glory, and that might mean he’s not for me)…
But it has made me realise that I seriously thought that because of my age, I didn’t deserve the privilege of being with someone who I actually thought was phenomenal. So many people keep telling me that I’m being too picky, but now I can confidently say that there are still men out there who will blow you away with their goodness and Godliness.
update 27/1/16… After some more texting and a group bbq catch up, I suggested coffee, but he declined saying he’s not looking for a relationship at the moment. Cue disappointment, but not surprise.
update 15/10/16…Camp guy got engaged today to another lady. So almost within the 6 months that always seems to happen when I’m interested in a guy! (see here for post about this phenomena I seem to cause, lol)