Last weekend I attended a Bush Dance, which was raising money for an awesome lady who wants to study how to be a missionary in Africa. It’s the same group of people who put on the swing dance I went to a few months ago. I had a great time dancing to the live band in my good old flannel top and jeans…but while it seemed lots of other girls were dancing with guys, I barely had any offers…
One guy did ask me to dance, he’s in my bible study group…but I feel like it was more of a pity dance because last week in our group I complained that guys at these dances never ask me to dance! Lol! (not negating that guy though, he is a very nice guy). I also danced with many girls from my church (there were a lot more women than men at this event), which was totally fine, but I would’ve like to meet more guys.
So I thought I would try to work out why my strike rate is so poor at these dances while other girls seem to be getting asked often…not sure I have come up with an even slightly plausible answer, but I’ll give it a shot.
1.Was I giving off a ‘don’t dance with me’ face? ie have I spent my whole life with a resting bitch face and not realised it?!! Was I subconsciously sabotaging my efforts because I didn’t see any legitimate potential mates? Likelihood: Plausible
She’s apparently subconsciously saying ‘don’t dance with me’
I went into the dance with an open mind and a decision that I would dance with anyone who asked, because that’s what I was there to do…DANCE. Hopefully my body language demonstrated this. But I can’t be certain.
2. Were the guys I smiled at as they walked past just not attracted to me and hence that’s why they didn’t ask? Likelihood: Plausible
3. Was there too much pressure on Christian guys to ask a girl to dance, because…oh dear, it might accidentally be taken as a marriage proposal?!… Likelihood: Plausible
4. Do I look so young that guys my age don’t give me a second look? The amount of people who literally don’t believe I am 30 is unbelievable. These are good genes, thanks Grandma 😉 Likelihood: Plausable
A HA, I hear some of you say…why didn’t I just ask the guys to dance with me instead of waiting around? Well…I did, and of course that comes with a funny story (would you expect anything less of me?! haha)
At the last swing dance event I danced a few songs with a guy from the country, and had some good conversation. Well, he was there at this one, so I made my way over and tried to strike up a conversation. HE HAD NO IDEA WHO I WAS. Absolutely no idea. So little idea in fact that it became super awkward super quickly, so he said ‘I’ll just find someone else to dance with you” and then found ANOTHER LADY to dance with me. HA. It was so perfectly awkward that I was having a good chuckle inside.
I guess the conclusion I’ve come to is that all the above options are plausible, but I’ll never know the actual reason. I can just make myself feel better by telling myself that guys didn’t ask me to dance last weekend because none of them were right for me. I don’t know if I actually believe in ‘the one’, but I have had one experience where God has given me a clear direction of NO. NOPE. NO WAY IS THIS MAN GOOD FOR YOU (back in my early 20s).
Anyway, despite what felt like heaps of rejection all night, I did have a really nice time, and a lot of money was raised for a really good cause. I did have one fun dance with a guy, so it wasn’t all hopeless. I will definitely attend more of these dance events, and who knows…maybe next time I’ll have more luck!