Within the last few weeks, 8 friends have announced they are pregnant (July was evidently a happening month for a lot of people…). Now, I’m pretty good at dealing with friends getting pregnant, and I have good coping mechanisms up my sleeve…
My thoughts after the 1st-3rd: “Oh, cool, good for them.”
4th – 6th: “Wow, that’s a lot of pregnancy at the moment…what was happening in July?! I’m going to have a lot of baby showers to attend and not cry in the car afterwards.”
7th: “Hmm. Is there anyone left who isn’t having a baby right now?”
So 1-6 I was able to mostly brush aside, number 7 made me feel sad, but for some reason, number 8 has made a lump in my throat that won’t go away. I mean come on, how many times within a few weeks can I tell myself the following things, and actually BELIEVE them:
– “HA, glad I’ll still be having uninterrupted sleep.”
– “Glad I won’t be getting those haemorrhoids” gross, I know…but seriously, it’s a common thing after birth…hence us childless women can avoid them more easily…I’ll take the small wins 😉
-All that NOISE, no thanks!
But deep down I know that I am actually thinking… far out, is it ever going to be my turn?
And I guess when that 8th announcement came around, I couldn’t push down my real thoughts. Because reality is that I don’t have a lot of child bearing years left. I’m not trying to be melodramatic…it’s just fact. A woman’s fertility drastically reduces from essentially 32yrs old:
A woman’s fertility starts to decline in her early 30s, with the decline speeding up after 35. At 40 a woman only has a 5% chance of becoming pregnant in any month (yourfertility.org)
A very close friend announced her pregnancy (one of the early in the line of 8), and asked me to help plan her baby shower. Although I am genuinely super excited for her and her husband, I had to politely decline and try to explain that I couldn’t be part of the planning because it’s just too hard for me.
Does that make me a selfish bitch? I dunno. Probably.
My friend didn’t really understand, but was gracious enough to not get angry with me and say that she hopes I will still come along to the baby shower. I definitely will go, regardless of how hard it is for me, because friends support each other, even when it makes you cry.
So here’s to eight amazing women who will soon have eight super cute babies. And here’s to me enjoying uninterrupted sleep, less noise at home and avoiding haemorrhoids (hopefully, lol).
God willing maybe one day I’ll get to experience those things too. But in the mean time, I’m trying really hard to not feel disappointed with myself.
As Jennifer Aniston said on Ellen last week: “We as women do a lot of incredible things in this world other than procreate.” I am not less than any of my friends who is able to procreate. We are all simply awesome.