When it’s right, you’ll just know…..right??
Ah, that famous saying regarding relationships. I can think of at least 5 times over the last few years when I have burst into the lounge room to declare to my housemate that “I just know this guy is right for me cause it just feels so right”
Blah. So how come every single stinking time I have been so wrong???
I have heard it time and time again from friends who say you just know when you meet the right person….So I would like to present a theory, haha! Do we actually feel that at some point every time we like someone, because otherwise we wouldn’t want to date them??
Maybe I can’t say ‘I know’ someone is right, because I haven’t ever been in a relationship. Maybe the knowing comes from being in a relationship, rather than just having a friendship with the person and wanting more.
And I am also amazed at how quickly we forget how bad heartbreak and rejection feels. See below example for my cycle of behaviour:
- Hmm…he seems nice!
- Ooh, he smiled at me…lets find out more about this guy
- Ok, I think I like this guy
- I really enjoy hanging out with this guy, it feels so natural
- EVERYBODY STOP, I think this is the one. For real this time. IT.FEELS.RIGHT.
- This might go somewhere, I can feel it
- Oh dear, back up the truck, this is not going anywhere
- Far out, why am I not good enough for this guy?
- That’s it. No more.
- I’m binging on netflix, eating junk food , and never liking anyone EVER AGAIN
Wait another few months, and rinse and repeat…
I know I’ve blogged about this before, but I really, really struggle to find solid ground in the appropriate place between ‘it feels so right, this is it’ and ‘it feels like it’s never going to be it for me’.
I guess when it comes down to it, we shouldn’t base our decisions off of a feeling. I’m not negating feelings, I believe they are very important, but I do think that lust can sometimes be a large part of ‘this feels right’.
Instead of focusing on my feelings, I’m trying to focus on things like: how is his relationship with God, how does he relate with siblings and parents, how comfortable do I feel when we hang out that I can be honest with my opinions, do we have similar interests, does he make wise decisions, what is his prayer routine like, and so on.
But at the end of the day, it obviously takes 2 people to be interested to move forward with a relationship…and that’s essentially the first step, that for whatever reason, I can never move past. So at the moment, lets just say I’m working on taming my ‘this is right, I just know’ feelings unless I’m actually in a relationship. (spoiler alert…so far I’m not doing so well at that, but at least I’m trying!! Goal setting is half the battle…right?!)
Anyone have a ‘this just feels right’ experience they’d like to share??